It’s important to know that, based on V Frankl’s Logotherapy, we all have “pillars” in life, otherwise we wouldn’t be alive, literally.
We cannot allow ourselves as coaches to believe that the client doesn’t have any “pillars” in life.
If the client cannot remember any ‘pillar’ in the Pillars of Life one “does not go to the memory, but let the memory “come” to the person. Warm-up is essential.
This process of remembering “only what builds” is also for many something strange, some think it is a waste of money, “I’m paying to talk about problems” not what I’m doing well.
The person is so fixed on the negative that they can’t think about the positive. This may have been reinforced by previous therapies only based on “lack of”, pain, trauma etc and not on what gives life. In this case it’s like learning to “read and discover” a new language.
There are situations of pain and negative thoughts in general with someone, e.g. father or mother. The person can “resent” having a positive thought with that person whom they’ve despised for a long time.